You ever wonder why Voldie looks like he does? It's not just the immortality quest. You see, there was this unfortunate accident...

...no, not THAT kind of wank, you pervs.

Being a master of Cruciatus has also made Voldie a master of various other kinds of tortures, including the dreaded Pompous Pedant Method (considered by many to be comparable to water torture, and only slightly behind Cruciatus in its earnest intensity), which he often chooses to inflect with the hysteria-inducing Godwin's Law.

Why, yes, this is a directed post.

No, we're not telling who sucks.

We Dark Lords have to have our sekrits.

Sorry for the delay in getting you your lols! We're experiencing a staffing problem here at the s00per sekrit base, so loldemort may not appear every day, as has been his wont. Never fear, though! He will be making regular appearances.

Such as today's.



He's trying on a lovely pair of red pumps. They match his eyes.

B/c of yesterday's Ministry-sanctioned Muggle-baiting power outage at Ye Olde ElJay HQ, we offer you TWO loldemorts today for the price of one.

Of course, only one of them is actually funny.

But you have to figure which out for yourself.

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Now he's really got his groove goin' on. Harry won't know what hit him.

...not a baboon with a stick.

So he thinks this is true.

He's going to show us his horcruxes starting at 12:00 tonight.

We're going offline for DH, but will be back on Sunday.

Then again, he'd probably have to share.